'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the store
All the creatures were stirring, buying last minute gifts galore.
The shelves were disheveled, all the shirts were a mess,
And the jeans were mis-hung by shoppers, who could care less.
The children ran down the isles, screaming so much,
All hooked up on sugar, candy, sweets, and such.
While their parents just stood there, with a plastered smile
In a line that stretched out for miles and miles.
When out on the floor there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my register to see what was the matter.
Away to the isle I flew like a flash,
Tore past the jewelry, and the belts with sash.
The light on the breast of the newly folded clothes
Gave the lustre of midday to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a fallen shopper, with a mighty large rear.
Carmen, my manager, so lively and quick,
Bent down to the customer, ever so slick.
More rapid than eagles, her apologies soon came,
But the customer shouted and cursed her by name:
“You Stupid! You Bitch!
Oh, what the f***!
If your going to wave,
You should say ‘duck!’
Look what you did!
And look at my eye!
Ow! It hurts! It hurts!
I think I’m going to cry!”
What had happened was Carmen, trying to boost sales,
Tried to do a little dance, but ultimately failed.
“Say, ‘Next please,’ with a smile so nice!”
Then she whacked a customer, right between the eyes.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from the crowd
A prancing and pawing that was not so loud.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the isle, my co-worker Grace, came with a bound.
She was dressed all in red, from her head to her toes,
and her vest was of Rudolph, the reindeer with a red nose.
A tiny little lady, no bigger than 4’2,
She came squeaking by, in her shiny black shoes.
Her eyes, how they twinkled! Her small glasses, how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the teeth from her smile was as white as the snow.
The way that she waddled, right down the isle,
Made everyone stop and look, and just smile
She had a broad face and a little round booty,
That shook when she laughed, like a bowl full of fruit-y.
(Ok, so fruit doesn’t actually shake, but it rhymes…sue me!)
She walked to the customer and in a sweet voice, she rang:
“Are you alright senorita? That was quite a loud bang.”
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head
Soon gave me to know we had nothing to dread.
A few moments later, after the commotion had settled
Grace talked to the customer, and in a way, sorta meddled.
She talked to the customer and helped her to understand,
That shopping on December 24th, was no where near grand.
“Senorita,” she said, “Why cant you see?
That Christmas isn’t about presents, it’s about family.
I’m sure you’re buying, with good intentions in mind,
Pero, go home to your family, there’s still time.”
Grace’s words of wisdom, were a blessing in disguise,
As she spoke, she helped everyone to realize,
That buying gifts, so late in the year,
Was no way to celebrate this Holiday cheer.
The customer realized, that Grace was right,
She should have been home, celebrating the night.
So she gathered her belongings and drove out of sight,
And I thought to myself, “Oy, were closing early tonight!”
Merry Christmas, from my family to yours!
All the creatures were stirring, buying last minute gifts galore.
The shelves were disheveled, all the shirts were a mess,
And the jeans were mis-hung by shoppers, who could care less.
The children ran down the isles, screaming so much,
All hooked up on sugar, candy, sweets, and such.
While their parents just stood there, with a plastered smile
In a line that stretched out for miles and miles.
When out on the floor there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my register to see what was the matter.
Away to the isle I flew like a flash,
Tore past the jewelry, and the belts with sash.
The light on the breast of the newly folded clothes
Gave the lustre of midday to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a fallen shopper, with a mighty large rear.
Carmen, my manager, so lively and quick,
Bent down to the customer, ever so slick.
More rapid than eagles, her apologies soon came,
But the customer shouted and cursed her by name:
“You Stupid! You Bitch!
Oh, what the f***!
If your going to wave,
You should say ‘duck!’
Look what you did!
And look at my eye!
Ow! It hurts! It hurts!
I think I’m going to cry!”
What had happened was Carmen, trying to boost sales,
Tried to do a little dance, but ultimately failed.
“Say, ‘Next please,’ with a smile so nice!”
Then she whacked a customer, right between the eyes.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from the crowd
A prancing and pawing that was not so loud.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the isle, my co-worker Grace, came with a bound.
She was dressed all in red, from her head to her toes,
and her vest was of Rudolph, the reindeer with a red nose.
A tiny little lady, no bigger than 4’2,
She came squeaking by, in her shiny black shoes.
Her eyes, how they twinkled! Her small glasses, how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the teeth from her smile was as white as the snow.
The way that she waddled, right down the isle,
Made everyone stop and look, and just smile
She had a broad face and a little round booty,
That shook when she laughed, like a bowl full of fruit-y.
(Ok, so fruit doesn’t actually shake, but it rhymes…sue me!)
She walked to the customer and in a sweet voice, she rang:
“Are you alright senorita? That was quite a loud bang.”
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head
Soon gave me to know we had nothing to dread.
A few moments later, after the commotion had settled
Grace talked to the customer, and in a way, sorta meddled.
She talked to the customer and helped her to understand,
That shopping on December 24th, was no where near grand.
“Senorita,” she said, “Why cant you see?
That Christmas isn’t about presents, it’s about family.
I’m sure you’re buying, with good intentions in mind,
Pero, go home to your family, there’s still time.”
Grace’s words of wisdom, were a blessing in disguise,
As she spoke, she helped everyone to realize,
That buying gifts, so late in the year,
Was no way to celebrate this Holiday cheer.
The customer realized, that Grace was right,
She should have been home, celebrating the night.
So she gathered her belongings and drove out of sight,
And I thought to myself, “Oy, were closing early tonight!”
Merry Christmas, from my family to yours!
