If you’re wondering why you can’t see the last post, I had posted on Friday, there’s a legitimate reason for that. I do NOT want the aforementioned party to read what I wrote, because then there would be an awkward tension between us. Believe me, I know. I’m all about the awkward moments, always trying to avoid them but somehow managing to get in them.
Like last Tuesday, for example. My friend Maria was looking at her phone bill, when she noticed that they had included her father’s phone bill in the same envelope as well. She casually looked over the call logs and noticed that there was one number in particular that had been dialed quite a number of times. Being of the curious mind, Maria called the number and was shocked to hear a woman’s voice on the other line. She immediately told her mother and together they investigated the strange number and the even stranger woman. Turns out, Maria’s dad was having an affair. For the past two years, he was seeing another woman, something that had turn from a casual one-time fling to something really serious. Maria was devastated. Here was a man with a devoted wife and four kids at home, believing they were truly a happy family and…it was beyond sad.
Maria called and shared this shocking and intimate secret, asking if I could come over since she didn’t know what to do for her uncontrollable and heartbroken mother or how to keep her younger, unknowing siblings away from all the mess. I was unsure too, but I went, taking a tub of ice cream and a basketball. Maria’s father came home late that day. The moment he walked in through the door, all hell broke loose as Maria, her older brother, and her mother yelled at him, demanding an answer. It was really awkward, watching this grown man break down into tears, wondering when and where his life went so horribly wrong. It was like the proverbial car accident on the highway. And I had a front seat viewing. I didn’t know if this was my cue to leave or not, so I sat in stony silence, trying to blend in with the furniture. Which was kinda hard, seeing as my clothes aren’t made out of furniture fabric.
Two days later, Maria called me up again, asking me again for support. Not knowing how to handle a situation like theirs, Maria and her mother went to the church asking a Father and a Nun for help. Reminding the devastated duo about the power of forgiveness, they both advised Maria and her mom to let the adulterous adult back into the house. And they did. But not long after, Maria’s dad left again, which is why she called me. She needed someone to figuratively hold her hand while she went to go get her dad back. Turns out, the woman he was having an affair with, lived not two blocks down from Maria and her family. And outside her house, was Maria’s dad’s truck. I sat in the car, waiting, while Maria and her brother tried talking to their dad, asking him to come home and to stop hurting their family. He declined, apologizing, but making very clear that he had made his final decision.
It made me mad. I know it wasn’t even my dad, but just the fact that a person could dismiss an entire family and an entire life so easily was beyond upsetting. Her family was in shambles and obviously confused because two days later, Maria’s dad came back and the family accepted him back in. I didn’t get it. How could they welcome such a cruel man back and call him dad, all over again? Was there something I was missing? Maria said, it was because deep down, way, way deep down, they still loved him. But how was it possible to love somebody who hurts you so badly?
Later that day, my Aunt Cassandra got arrested. Talk about your awkward reading, huh? Somewhere west of Tucson, in a little small town called Ajo, my Aunt was pulled over for speeding, but ended up in jail on three counts of marijuana. How embarrassing. If you’re gonna get arrested for drugs, do something high class and designer. But in all seriousness, it was actually kinda scary. With my aunt put away behind bars and a hearing set for this Thursday, our entire family’s world turned completely upside down. First and foremost, there was my little cousins to think about. What would happen to Bianca and Anthony? Their dad didn’t want them, as he made it perfectly clear several times when he divorced my aunt, several years back and no one in my family was financially capable of adding two extra growing mouths to their own family.
That’s when my mother formed an impromptu meeting with all her brothers and sisters, minus one, and told everyone that this would be the one thing that would either break us or make us stronger as a family. Yes, we would have to make a lot of sacrifices, but that’s just what families and friends do in times of need. They help each other out. They’re just there for each other. And after spending a weekend watching my cousins, in what can only be described as a formulaic Garry Marshall movie, I understood Maria‘s family decision just a little better. Despite the fact that my aunt left my cousins so abruptly, they still loved their mother. Kinda like the way a dog still loves you, even after you punish it for chewing on all the furniture. No matter how many times they disappoint you, there are certain members in our family that we just cant let go of. The same goes for certain friends and other loved ones. It’s not so much a matter of forgiving as it is just love. Good ol’ fashioned, unconditional, I-don’t-know-why love.
Like last Tuesday, for example. My friend Maria was looking at her phone bill, when she noticed that they had included her father’s phone bill in the same envelope as well. She casually looked over the call logs and noticed that there was one number in particular that had been dialed quite a number of times. Being of the curious mind, Maria called the number and was shocked to hear a woman’s voice on the other line. She immediately told her mother and together they investigated the strange number and the even stranger woman. Turns out, Maria’s dad was having an affair. For the past two years, he was seeing another woman, something that had turn from a casual one-time fling to something really serious. Maria was devastated. Here was a man with a devoted wife and four kids at home, believing they were truly a happy family and…it was beyond sad.
Maria called and shared this shocking and intimate secret, asking if I could come over since she didn’t know what to do for her uncontrollable and heartbroken mother or how to keep her younger, unknowing siblings away from all the mess. I was unsure too, but I went, taking a tub of ice cream and a basketball. Maria’s father came home late that day. The moment he walked in through the door, all hell broke loose as Maria, her older brother, and her mother yelled at him, demanding an answer. It was really awkward, watching this grown man break down into tears, wondering when and where his life went so horribly wrong. It was like the proverbial car accident on the highway. And I had a front seat viewing. I didn’t know if this was my cue to leave or not, so I sat in stony silence, trying to blend in with the furniture. Which was kinda hard, seeing as my clothes aren’t made out of furniture fabric.
Two days later, Maria called me up again, asking me again for support. Not knowing how to handle a situation like theirs, Maria and her mother went to the church asking a Father and a Nun for help. Reminding the devastated duo about the power of forgiveness, they both advised Maria and her mom to let the adulterous adult back into the house. And they did. But not long after, Maria’s dad left again, which is why she called me. She needed someone to figuratively hold her hand while she went to go get her dad back. Turns out, the woman he was having an affair with, lived not two blocks down from Maria and her family. And outside her house, was Maria’s dad’s truck. I sat in the car, waiting, while Maria and her brother tried talking to their dad, asking him to come home and to stop hurting their family. He declined, apologizing, but making very clear that he had made his final decision.
It made me mad. I know it wasn’t even my dad, but just the fact that a person could dismiss an entire family and an entire life so easily was beyond upsetting. Her family was in shambles and obviously confused because two days later, Maria’s dad came back and the family accepted him back in. I didn’t get it. How could they welcome such a cruel man back and call him dad, all over again? Was there something I was missing? Maria said, it was because deep down, way, way deep down, they still loved him. But how was it possible to love somebody who hurts you so badly?
Later that day, my Aunt Cassandra got arrested. Talk about your awkward reading, huh? Somewhere west of Tucson, in a little small town called Ajo, my Aunt was pulled over for speeding, but ended up in jail on three counts of marijuana. How embarrassing. If you’re gonna get arrested for drugs, do something high class and designer. But in all seriousness, it was actually kinda scary. With my aunt put away behind bars and a hearing set for this Thursday, our entire family’s world turned completely upside down. First and foremost, there was my little cousins to think about. What would happen to Bianca and Anthony? Their dad didn’t want them, as he made it perfectly clear several times when he divorced my aunt, several years back and no one in my family was financially capable of adding two extra growing mouths to their own family.
That’s when my mother formed an impromptu meeting with all her brothers and sisters, minus one, and told everyone that this would be the one thing that would either break us or make us stronger as a family. Yes, we would have to make a lot of sacrifices, but that’s just what families and friends do in times of need. They help each other out. They’re just there for each other. And after spending a weekend watching my cousins, in what can only be described as a formulaic Garry Marshall movie, I understood Maria‘s family decision just a little better. Despite the fact that my aunt left my cousins so abruptly, they still loved their mother. Kinda like the way a dog still loves you, even after you punish it for chewing on all the furniture. No matter how many times they disappoint you, there are certain members in our family that we just cant let go of. The same goes for certain friends and other loved ones. It’s not so much a matter of forgiving as it is just love. Good ol’ fashioned, unconditional, I-don’t-know-why love.
