in company with craigslist

The other week, I found a planner in the lobby of the building where I work. At first, I didn't even recognize what it was, because in a technological world populated with Blackberry's and iPhone's, does anyone really write down their daily schedule anymore? I didnt think so, but apparently, so. Guess I'm just new-fashioned that way. I flipped through the planner and since I couldnt find any ownership information, I did the next best thing. I posted an ad on Craigslist and used an alias name for myself.

Three hours later and four emails later, a guy named Gabriel came to the shop and thanked me profusely, claiming I had saved his life. It was really no big deal. Anyone who has ever lost anything, would do the same. Right? Still, Gabriel wanted to thank me properly. With money. Which, I couldn't accept, so I said the first thing that popped in my head. I suggested a drink at the historic Hotel Congress. It wasnt until after Gabriel left, that I realized how lame and bizzare my proposal was. But, seriously, what are you supposed to say and/or do in a situation like that?

I met Gabriel later that day, for a really awkward drink. We both knew that the drink would last for a mere matter of minutes and then we would be off on our seperate ways, probably never ever seeing each other for the rest of our lives. What the hell was I thinking? I almost didnt go and at the very last moment, I almost ditched Gabriel and the awkward drink. But I couldn't. Call it ethics or morals, but I knew, it wasn't right to stand someone up for something you had planned.

"Hey."

"Hey Dude."

"What's up?"

"Not much."

"Cool. So, what do you want?"

"Uh, just get me, uh, like a gin and tonic."

Even more awkwardness. For the most part, guys really aren't social. Girls are. That's why we hate it when they take us out to meet their friends, because we know that we are in for a night of silence. I couldn't wait to down my drink and get the whole thing over with. That's when Gabriel's cell rang. Talk about saved by the ring.

"Hold on a sec. It's my friend Gem."

"Gem Masters?"


I dont know what made me even think of that name. I had never heard of the name Gem, until my first day in the sixth grade. In fact, the last time I ever heard the name was at my 8th grade graduation. Next to Colette, Gem was the only other girl I kinda, sorta, liked in middle school. It was the braces, that sparkling mouth jewelry that did it for me. That and the Old Navy, powder blue, fleece vest she wore. All of which, made me real nervous whenever I saw her in class or in the halls. I never thought I'd see Gem again and figured she would be nothing more, than a part of my past.

And now, surprisingly, Gabriel was talking to her.

The moment he got off the phone, Gabriel asked me how I knew it was Gem Masters. I didnt. It was pure coincidence. We actually spent the next hour at the bar, talking about Gem and how we each knew her. Turns out, Gabriel worked for some sort of humanitarian organization based out in Michigan that has an office here in Tucson, and during one of the company's "getting to know you" soiree's, he met Gem. He actually moved to Tucson because of her. I asked if they were dating and turns out, he never had the guts either. And just like that, I found out an old crush was single, my new friend Gabriel thinks my name is Luke and is it just me, or is it weird to say that I found a new friend on Craigslist?

1-$200-missing

I just had $200 taken from my bank account. It happened while I was in Disneyland and I only just found out about it a few days ago. It canceled out a credit card payment and brought in new overdraft fees which I already know will take forever to clear up, so there's something to look forward to. Something else to look forward to? Watching my back.

Turns out, the money was taken out from an ATM in Scottsdale on a Sunday evening. I don't know anyone in Scottsdale, much less the greater Phoenix area...except, I do know my brothers had spent the day water tubing at the Salt River. And they were about ten minutes away from the ATM that dispersed my money.But could they have done it?

According to a bank representative, the perpetrator had actually tried taking out $500, but was declined. They then did a balance inquiry and saw I only had $218 and still took out as much as they could. At first I was mad. And then a little embarrassed.

A long time ago, a friend of mine had given me some pearls of wisdom on how to save my money. They suggested I open up several bank accounts and then every time I got a paycheck, I would deposit it into a different bank account, and with my money so spread out, I would have to get in the mindset that I only had so much money in one account and could only spend so much, instead of spending it all. And believe it or not, it works. I deposited the $218 into my account because that's how much my bill was for, which explains why it was so low. I wanted to explain to the thief why I didn't have the $500 and apologize for inconveniencing his theft.

Weird, (I know...I have major issues. Let's not even get into it...), but what's even weirder is that after I was reimbursed $200 by my bank, I found another $200. This time, in my house. I was looking for matches in the china cabinet and that's when I found ten, twenty dollar bills rolled up and hidden in the top drawer. It was a shock to see the money there, and only made me think of the worst in my brothers. Who would try to hide $200 in a china cabinet? I hid the money in my room immeadieately, without telling anyone, thinking that the person who asked for it, would indeed be my perp. It's been about a week, and no one has stepped up. It's weird being in the same room with my brothers and no one has stepped up, claiming that they are missing $200 and I am no closer to solving this mystery than anything.

tragic kingdom

About a month ago, I was craving a churro, a fried piece of rolled Mexican dough, covered in cinnamon and sugar. But not just any churro. A Disneyland churro, since everyone knows they sprinkle pure, unadulterated magic on them as well. I told my friend Rose about my craving and she told me about a special Greyhound Bus was running, where you leave Friday night from Tucson, arrive at Disneyland on Saturday morning, and then, when the Cinderella clock strikes midnight, it heads on back to Tucson. It seemed like a perfectly good way to spend a weekend, and so I was all for it.

The following day, Rose told me she talked to her friend Erin about our trip, and Erin asked if she and her daughter could go as well. When she asked her boss for the time off, Erin's boss asked her if she wouldnt mind taking a client with her. Erin works with mentally challenged people, and the client in mind was Faye, a twenty-three year old with cerebral palsley and alcohol fetal syndrome. And if Erin took Faye, the company for which she worked for would pay for two-day Disney Hopper passes for everyone, our hotel, our food, gas, and would even provide us with a vehicle. It seemed like a really good deal. The only thing is...I didnt know how I would do with a retarded person for over 72 hours.


I'll admit it. I make fun of them. Not every day, mind you, but like most people, when I make fun of mentally retarded people, it comes in sporadic un-PC moments. Like when I watch There's Something About Mary and Warren comes on the screen. Or when I "walk" and "talk" like them. I've even used the word, "retarded" when refering to something or someone as "dumb." I know I'm not the only one, but it made me wonder if I could be around someone like that without being mean. Trust me, I did a lot of soul searching, and in the end, I decided to go, flaws and all, because I figured it would be good learning experience for me.

We left on Saturday night. Me, Rose, her daughter Dami, Erin, her daughter Micky, and her client Faye. The Expedition SUV we were supposed to have didnt pass inspections, so the company gave us what seemed like the world's smallest mini-van. We were packed inside. Seriously. Mostly because Erin decided to bring 20 dolls and stuffed animals for Micky, along with a suitcase filled with shoes because Micky couldnt decide which shoes she wanted to wear when she met the Disney princesses. And if that wasnt bad, Faye brought enough generic pads to fill all the bathrooms in Disneyland, despite the fact she wasnt on her period. According to Erin, Faye just liked being prepared.

Eight, very long hours later, we arrived in Anaheim. The sun was just coming up, just as the hotel front desk was letting us down. Our room was not available, therefore, we had to change in the bathroom of the lobby and prepare for a day at Disneyland. I wont bore you with all the details, but somewhere between Fantasyland and New Orleans Square, Erin had a mental breakdown. She was torn between helping Faye get around, while making sure her daughter was having a fantastic time. We tried to offer our help, but Erin kept insisting it was her responsibility and her burden to bare and spent the next half hour in the bathroom crying. By four in the afternoon, we had only ridden 3 rides and visited seven shops, where Erin casually spent over $500 on toys for her daughter. "I just cant say no to my little princess!" she said.

We then had a late lunch at the Rainforest Cafe, where Micky and Dami soon fell fast asleep, prompting the moms to end our meal early and take the girls back to the hotel. We spent the rest of the day in the hotel, eating bad Italian takeout and watching the fireworks from our balcony.

The next morning, we had reservations for a character breakfast with Lilo & Stitch at seven in the morning. We arrived two and a half hours later, giving us only a half hour to enjoy breakfast and the Disney characters that wandered around the restaurant. By the time breakfast ended, we had lost half a day, and we hadnt even spent time in a Disney park. When we did spend time in the park, most of it was spent in the stores, where Erin continued to buy her daughter's love and affection with toy after toy after toy. Even though Faye was in her early 20's, she still had the mind of a nine year old, and seeing Micky getting every toy she pointed to, made her jealous and cry for her own toys. And when people look at you with a mentally challenged person wearing a plastic light-up crown in a wheelchair cry her heart out for a small Minnie Mouse doll, it doesnt look good.

Up until then, I had done really well with Faye. She kept to herself and only got excited when a real-life cartoon character walked down the street. I hadnt once even made fun of her, which, believe me, was a very big thing for me. And it was funny, because after all those years of "talking" like a retard, I was able to comprehend everything Faye said, even better than Erin. Except when she made an "O" with her left thumb and fingers and put her right finger in the hole and swirled it around (I dont even wanna know what that meant!). But towards the end, the Faye Erin knew started to come out. A mean-spirited and selfish girl, who knew more than what she let on. Feeling my thigh up and down while laughing, was totally not an accident. Neither was spilling that ice cream cone with the strawberry sauce on my lap.

By the end of the trip, I had been sexually harassed, had ridden only seven rides total, had a smile plastered on my face for over 84 hours, and had $200 taken from a Scottsdale ATM using my debit card (still trying to figure that one out). Erin smoked three cartons of cigarettes, drank over ten Starbucks decaf skinny soy venti caramel macchiatos, and spent well over $1500 on nothing but toys for her daughter, which I feel caused her daughter to miss out on the magic that is Disney. Micky never got to see any of the Disney princesses, ride any of the memorable Fantasy Dark Rides or even get to see Mickey Mouse himself! She only knew the corporate and merchandise part of Disney, which is not something you're supposed to see until you're a little bit older. I believe childhood is fleeting and so it's best to hold on to innocence for as long as possible. And somehow, Erin managed to blame it all on Faye and the fact she had to spend half her time taking care of her.

It was a horrible trip and I just felt bad for everybody. For Erin not knowing how to say "No" to her daughter or realizing her own faults. For Micky being a spoiled brat and constantly calling everyone, even complete strangers, "Poopy Head" or "Booger Face". For Rose, who was so embarassed by her friends actions, she spologized what seemed like every half hour. For Dami, who was manipulated many times by Micky, to do stuff she wouldnt normally do. For Faye being stuck in a wheelchair and wanting what she couldnt have. Mainly me. Maybe that's why I'm volunteering a day of my life at Faye's home.

all summer long

Hey guys! So, I know I've been away for a while (a long while...) but it's not something I planned. It just happened. June took forever to get through and July happened so fast. And so much has gone down, that it would be impossible for me to write it all down without doing a series of posts. But I wont bore you with all that. Instead, I'll just condense it into one sentence:

I was supposed to spend a month of my summer in New York City with some family friends who have a house there, except it didnt plan out the way I wanted, because the family friends decided to vacation in Washington because they wanted to explore the university in which their incoming college freshman son would attend, which was understandable, but didnt work for me, so my Tia Rachel invited me to go with her and my cousins to San Antonio to see my cousin Richard graduate from bootcamp, only to find out my pressence was wanted because recently my 21-year old cousin Vanessa had moved an hour and a half away to Phoenix to live with her 18-year old boyfriend and my family thought I could use my powers of persuassion to convince her it was a horrible mistake, which I could never do, because I'm a big believer that our mistakes help make us who we are, and if we never make mistakes, then we'll never learn, so, I ended up staying in town, where drama ensued, especially around Alice and Azten, my 8-month old pregnant boss and her husband, who were just coming to terms that they both had been living lies - he for having a scandalous affair and she for wanting to believe that it wasnt true - and I think Alice has moved on, because she recently ran into an ex- high school sweetheart, a guy named DJ, a guy who has been in love with her for the past 26 years, when they met in the first grade, a guy who gave her, her first hickie in the back seat of the school bus when they went out in the 10th grade, and a guy that's been coming downtown every Monday and Thursday for Grand Jury duty and spending his lunch hour with Alice and her two daughters, taking them out to lunch and even spending weekends with them, despite the fact he has a long-distance girlfriend living in New Orleans, and though Alice wont admit it, I think sparks have been flying and I think once Azten's first trial date rolls around in December, Azten will be nothing but a fleeting memory, which is sad, but I really do think it is for the best, when a family has to be divided, which I will soon know, because my father is being sent to Iraq in September for seven months, which is sad, but I know he'll be ok, because...he just has to.

And that...was the jist of my summer.