A month ago, my friend Martha's mother was addmited to Sacred Grace. She had been sick for some time and the doctors believed it would be best if she spent the next several weeks at their facility. Which meant, Christmas this year would include nurses and the smell of lemon lysol. It was easy to see why Martha wanted this Christmas to be fabulous, but of course, with fabulous being the price that it is, she could barely afford wonderful. Which is why she asked me two weeks ago, if I would go to the mall with her and apply for a seasonal job.
The first, and well, really, only, place we went to was Gap. Our friend Rachel worked there, so we figured Martha was a total shoe-in. While Martha filled out her application with detailed dedication, I filled out mine with bullshit answers. When asked what I liked most about the Gap, I wrote, "No one does fashion on a budget like Gap. Very reasonable for great separates," and under Any Felonies I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not!" We turned the applications in, with Martha praying for at least an interview and me praying they werent out of pretzel bites at Pretzel Time.
Four days later, I got a call from Gap asking to come in the following Monday for an interview. I was utterly befuddled. Why was my application chosen? I mean, if they liked what I wrote, then surely they would also give my friend Martha a call. But sadly, they didnt.
I couldnt understand why. Martha's application was far better than mine and it was she that needed the job, not me. But as I thought more about it, I realzied a part of me wanted the job too. I mean, Martha did have a point. Fabulous did come at a price and with the employee discount, my bank account wouldnt look so sad and low. I could choose all my own clothes as I helped the customers. In a way, I would actually be getting paid to go shopping. So I went in for the interview.
Betty, the hiring manager, fell in love with me. I had retail experience and worked during the holidays before, so I already knew what was expected of me. And then I was the only one to make Betty laugh when I told her how I once picked out an outfit for my guidance counselor when she went on Oprah, after she got fired from my high school for posing in a porno magazine and she said...well, I guess you just had to be there. My interview with Betty was actually the best interview I had ever had. Normally, when applying for something, I get all tongue-tied, my palms get all sweaty and I get so nervous that I might say the wrong thing that sometimes, I do end up doing the wrong thing. But maybe it was because this job wasnt as important to me as other jobs were, that I was at ease the entire time. After I left, I realized I did wanna work with someone like Betty. I just didnt know how I was gonna tell Martha.
Two days later, I decided instead of waiting by the phone to see if I had been hired, I would go to the mall. That's when I saw Betty on the store phone, with her blue folder on hand. She was making the calls! I sat outside the store, on the malls conviently hidden maroon leather chairs, watching Betty and waiting for my call. An hour later, with still no call, Debbie made her last call and walked to the back of the store. She had hired everybody that she wanted to and I wasnt one of them. Serves me right. It didnt matter that I had a great interview or that I was able to make Betty laugh. What mattered was that I should've just told Martha the truth. I should've just been upfront about the whole thing and should've just been honest. At least that's what I think karma was trying to tell me.
And while karma was busy teaching me a lesson, I decided since I was already at the mall I should buy myself a little happy. But I couldnt. I didnt feel like buying happy. I felt like buying a drink. And as I walked to my car, I passed the Gap store again, knowing it would be a while before I ever walked back in. And that's when I saw Betty walking right towards me.
BETTY: David! Hi!
ME: Oh...hey.
BETTY: David, I have a question to ask you. Did you put your cell number on your application?
ME: Yeah.
BETTY: Ok, good!
ME: Why?
BETTY: Because you got the job. Do you want it?
ME: Shut up.
Ok, so maybe telling my new boss to shut up, wasnt the best first words to say, but I really couldnt believe what I was hearing. Especially, when she told me how much I would be making an hour. And so I took the job offer. I felt somewhat exhilarated. Maybe I belonged out there, among the bright spotlights and cashmere cardigans of Gap. But if so, then why cant I tell my friend Martha?
The first, and well, really, only, place we went to was Gap. Our friend Rachel worked there, so we figured Martha was a total shoe-in. While Martha filled out her application with detailed dedication, I filled out mine with bullshit answers. When asked what I liked most about the Gap, I wrote, "No one does fashion on a budget like Gap. Very reasonable for great separates," and under Any Felonies I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not!" We turned the applications in, with Martha praying for at least an interview and me praying they werent out of pretzel bites at Pretzel Time.
Four days later, I got a call from Gap asking to come in the following Monday for an interview. I was utterly befuddled. Why was my application chosen? I mean, if they liked what I wrote, then surely they would also give my friend Martha a call. But sadly, they didnt.
I couldnt understand why. Martha's application was far better than mine and it was she that needed the job, not me. But as I thought more about it, I realzied a part of me wanted the job too. I mean, Martha did have a point. Fabulous did come at a price and with the employee discount, my bank account wouldnt look so sad and low. I could choose all my own clothes as I helped the customers. In a way, I would actually be getting paid to go shopping. So I went in for the interview.
Betty, the hiring manager, fell in love with me. I had retail experience and worked during the holidays before, so I already knew what was expected of me. And then I was the only one to make Betty laugh when I told her how I once picked out an outfit for my guidance counselor when she went on Oprah, after she got fired from my high school for posing in a porno magazine and she said...well, I guess you just had to be there. My interview with Betty was actually the best interview I had ever had. Normally, when applying for something, I get all tongue-tied, my palms get all sweaty and I get so nervous that I might say the wrong thing that sometimes, I do end up doing the wrong thing. But maybe it was because this job wasnt as important to me as other jobs were, that I was at ease the entire time. After I left, I realized I did wanna work with someone like Betty. I just didnt know how I was gonna tell Martha.
Two days later, I decided instead of waiting by the phone to see if I had been hired, I would go to the mall. That's when I saw Betty on the store phone, with her blue folder on hand. She was making the calls! I sat outside the store, on the malls conviently hidden maroon leather chairs, watching Betty and waiting for my call. An hour later, with still no call, Debbie made her last call and walked to the back of the store. She had hired everybody that she wanted to and I wasnt one of them. Serves me right. It didnt matter that I had a great interview or that I was able to make Betty laugh. What mattered was that I should've just told Martha the truth. I should've just been upfront about the whole thing and should've just been honest. At least that's what I think karma was trying to tell me.
And while karma was busy teaching me a lesson, I decided since I was already at the mall I should buy myself a little happy. But I couldnt. I didnt feel like buying happy. I felt like buying a drink. And as I walked to my car, I passed the Gap store again, knowing it would be a while before I ever walked back in. And that's when I saw Betty walking right towards me.
BETTY: David! Hi!
ME: Oh...hey.
BETTY: David, I have a question to ask you. Did you put your cell number on your application?
ME: Yeah.
BETTY: Ok, good!
ME: Why?
BETTY: Because you got the job. Do you want it?
ME: Shut up.
Ok, so maybe telling my new boss to shut up, wasnt the best first words to say, but I really couldnt believe what I was hearing. Especially, when she told me how much I would be making an hour. And so I took the job offer. I felt somewhat exhilarated. Maybe I belonged out there, among the bright spotlights and cashmere cardigans of Gap. But if so, then why cant I tell my friend Martha?
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