how to succeed in friendship without really trying

When it comes to making new friends, it's not so different or outside the realm of dating. In both scenarios, you're dealing with the same thing; you're meeting new people, hoping to find a common interest that will allow you to forge a relationship with that person and have them in your life for a period of time. The only difference is, you hope to go home with one of them, at the end of the night. Well, maybe both, but as Harry and Sally once showed us, it's never a good idea to sleep with friends. And if someone like Manuel Uribe, the world's heaviest man, can find someone, then so should I.

I took a lot of your guys' advice and decided to just put myself out there, fully and completely. I was going to go to a pub and just sit there all day, despite having to inhale copious amounts of second hand smoke, because, really, what's the use of breathing good, clean, fresh air, if you have to do it all alone? I even had a day picked out: Friday, a day when people are looking to unwind and welcome a stress-free, relaxing weekend.

They say the key to finding someone or something you really want, is prospecting. Good business people know that and that's why they're so successful. So, by implementing my new business strategy, I was ready to go out and find some strangers who were a drink, a laugh, and an inappropriate touch away from being a friend.

But then, my plans at the very last minute, when my manager, Blu, asked Gwen and I to take a trip out to the Windy City, Chicago, and pick up some items for the store. Being only 95 miles away, the drive wasn't that long, but neither was the day. There was so much to do, so much to see, and not enough time to do it all. But we did manage to squeeze in a drive-by to the Harpo Studios and enjoy an entire large Chicago- style deep dish pizza at the world-famous, Lou Malnati's Pizzeria. And while enjoying the city that brought us all that jazz, I used my business strategy to talk to everyone and ended up getting a phone number to hang out later that night. Of course, I wouldn't use it, because I'm looking for more local friends, but at least I was on the right track.

That night, it snowed. And in the morning, a sparkling blanket of white snow welcomed everyone in Milwaukee, starting off one of the most cheesiest and romantically inclined day of the year on a high note. Anything and everything seemed possible. Like making a new friend. And that's just what I did as I made my way through the city. And while walking through my new neighborhood, someone approached me. Guess she saw a possible friend in the making.

Turns out, she wasn't. Her name was Brihanna and somehow, with tears in her eyes and runny mucas in her nose, she told me she had just had her boyfriend arrested for kicking and going all Chris Brown on her and had absolutely no means of getting back home to her two-year-old. She offered to sell me her cell phone for money, but I haven't carried cash since Visa foolishly allowed me into their Platinum Status club. So, instead I asked her if she wanted to go to KFC and talk about it. Normally, KFC wouldn't be my first choice in comfort food, but it was just down the street and chicken fried in 11 herbs and spices did sound good.

After chicken and chatting, I made a new friend. A drama queen, but a friend nonetheless. I left Brihanna with $10 and my email and told her I hoped she found her way back home. A couple hours later, Gwen came home and I was so excited to tell her about finding a new friend. But Gwen wasn't interested in my story, because some random girl came out of an alleyway, crying and telling her that she just had her boyfriend arrested for kicking and going all Chris Brown on her and had absolutely no means of getting back home to her two-year-old. She even offered Gwen, her cell phone for money...and that's when I knew I befriended a crackhead. After moving here, we were told by people that the area of town we moved into, Riverwest, used to be an old crack neighborhood, but was now up and coming with artists and musicians. Guess, they all haven't moved out yet and I guess I'll keep on looking.