OMG, work was so stressful today. I know I shouldnt be talking bad about the place that provides me with a weekly paycheck, (cuz nowadays they can look you up online in a heartbeat) but seriously...I wanna quit. After two days of training (three if you count that horrible Black Friday), I wanna throw in the towel and give up. The reason? None of the managers like me. And how far can a temporary sales associate climb the corporate ladder if none of his supervisors like him? Huh?
Donna, the secretary, doesnt think I have the needed passion that, I guess, is required for the job (I overheard her talking on the phone about who she thinks wont survive this Holiday season), Carmen keeps making little "jokes" of how she thinks I hate her (she's the boss-lady that made me run to all five registers on Black Friday, bagging everyone's purchases, while the other trainee's just stood there looking all lethargic), and Gina...oy...I cant get that woman to just smile at me. I swear, it's like she tries to be unpleasant. She could be riding Space Mountain at Disneyland, next to Santa Claus and a genie, while having a menage a trois with Brad and Angelina, smoking a joint, knowing that Ed McMahon would meet her at the front entrance to give her a $10 million dollar check, and the bitch, still would not smile. Ugh...
But it's not just the "being liked" part that bothers me...it's also about some other things. I found out, I was a "pity hire", meaning they had no attention of hiring my ass, and only did it because some of their employees were caught abusing their employee discount. How do I know? I was talking to a fellow employee, and during the middle of our conversation she asked, "Wait...are you a late hire?" She may as well have asked, "Wait...are you a leper with pink eye and the flu?" Was this what they of us? I couldnt let my fellow "pity hire" friend Kathleen walk and work around the store, not knowing what everyone saw her as. But after I saw her employee folder, I kinda paused on the whole thing.
While taking my training test on the computer, Donna casually laid Kathleen's folder on mine, and walked away. Of course, the tempataion was strong, and I looked at Kathleen's folder. On the front, Donna had written: temp, $6.50, apparel. While on mine, she wrote: temp, 6.25, mens. Exactly like that. I was a dollar sign and a quarter short of Kathleen's payrate. Why was Kathleen getting a quarter more than I was? We were both "pity hires", we started training the same day, and Kathleen told Gina that she had "absolutely no experience in retail." The only difference between Kathleen and I, was that she was in her mid-60's, smelled like White Diamonds, and was white.
Ok, so maybe that last difference shifted this post from light and airy banter, to a big ol' racist uproar, but just hear me out. Up until highschool, everyone thought I was of Cauasian background. But I'm not. I'm a total mutt with really light skin. I guess the fact that I dont speak a word of anything foreign, just only made me more White-r. It's a shame really. Both my parents and all my grandparents speak Spanish, but I dont. What makes it even more shameful is I can do a ton of accents (I swear I could give Tracey Ullman a run for her money) but I suck at my Spanish one. Anyways, the point is, I've never really experienced racism. I'm too dark to be accepted in the White community, yet too light to be accepted in the Hispanic community. Kinda like Jessica Alba. Race has never been a factor for me, because people dont know what to label me as, you know? But now, I wonder if times are a changin'...
Am I being treated unfair in the workplace because of the color of my skin? Am I being paid less because of my background? Or am I taking things out of content and way too seriously? Do I need to lighten up (no pun intended) or should I take a stand? A part of me, want to just throw the towel in and give up, cuz I may as well quit while I'm ahead. And another part of me, wants me to show them that I can do it, and that I'm not a failure. But then why show people up, who dont care anyways?
Donna, the secretary, doesnt think I have the needed passion that, I guess, is required for the job (I overheard her talking on the phone about who she thinks wont survive this Holiday season), Carmen keeps making little "jokes" of how she thinks I hate her (she's the boss-lady that made me run to all five registers on Black Friday, bagging everyone's purchases, while the other trainee's just stood there looking all lethargic), and Gina...oy...I cant get that woman to just smile at me. I swear, it's like she tries to be unpleasant. She could be riding Space Mountain at Disneyland, next to Santa Claus and a genie, while having a menage a trois with Brad and Angelina, smoking a joint, knowing that Ed McMahon would meet her at the front entrance to give her a $10 million dollar check, and the bitch, still would not smile. Ugh...
But it's not just the "being liked" part that bothers me...it's also about some other things. I found out, I was a "pity hire", meaning they had no attention of hiring my ass, and only did it because some of their employees were caught abusing their employee discount. How do I know? I was talking to a fellow employee, and during the middle of our conversation she asked, "Wait...are you a late hire?" She may as well have asked, "Wait...are you a leper with pink eye and the flu?" Was this what they of us? I couldnt let my fellow "pity hire" friend Kathleen walk and work around the store, not knowing what everyone saw her as. But after I saw her employee folder, I kinda paused on the whole thing.
While taking my training test on the computer, Donna casually laid Kathleen's folder on mine, and walked away. Of course, the tempataion was strong, and I looked at Kathleen's folder. On the front, Donna had written: temp, $6.50, apparel. While on mine, she wrote: temp, 6.25, mens. Exactly like that. I was a dollar sign and a quarter short of Kathleen's payrate. Why was Kathleen getting a quarter more than I was? We were both "pity hires", we started training the same day, and Kathleen told Gina that she had "absolutely no experience in retail." The only difference between Kathleen and I, was that she was in her mid-60's, smelled like White Diamonds, and was white.
Ok, so maybe that last difference shifted this post from light and airy banter, to a big ol' racist uproar, but just hear me out. Up until highschool, everyone thought I was of Cauasian background. But I'm not. I'm a total mutt with really light skin. I guess the fact that I dont speak a word of anything foreign, just only made me more White-r. It's a shame really. Both my parents and all my grandparents speak Spanish, but I dont. What makes it even more shameful is I can do a ton of accents (I swear I could give Tracey Ullman a run for her money) but I suck at my Spanish one. Anyways, the point is, I've never really experienced racism. I'm too dark to be accepted in the White community, yet too light to be accepted in the Hispanic community. Kinda like Jessica Alba. Race has never been a factor for me, because people dont know what to label me as, you know? But now, I wonder if times are a changin'...
Am I being treated unfair in the workplace because of the color of my skin? Am I being paid less because of my background? Or am I taking things out of content and way too seriously? Do I need to lighten up (no pun intended) or should I take a stand? A part of me, want to just throw the towel in and give up, cuz I may as well quit while I'm ahead. And another part of me, wants me to show them that I can do it, and that I'm not a failure. But then why show people up, who dont care anyways?
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