I made it. I actually made it to California in one piece and I didnt have to kill anyone on the long and dreadful, 11-hour trip. According to Mapquest, the total drive should have taken a mere eight hours, but with my dad driving the car as if it's some kinda jet plane from his good ol' military days and my mom screaming and clutching her seat-belt and car door for dear life, well, these things do have a habit of prolonging time. Of course, the fact that we had to stop at every rest-stop from here to San Diego to help my brother Darrin overcome his fear of dehydration, also was of no help. And yet, I still had to spend a whole week with these people.
It's not that I dont like hanging out with my family, it's just that how can anybody face humanity after standing in line with their parents for the Mad Hatter Tea Party? Why is it that there are certain types of people who never show any emotion? No matter how great the situation, they never seem like they have fun. Eh...I guess it's because I do have blood in my veins.
After landing on native California soil, we realized we actually had some time to kill and with no real plans, we headed to Disney's California Adventures. For some, this park is a real eye-sore, with even some refering to it as Michael Eisner's wet dream. But I for one, actually do enjoy the park. Being able to take bit's and pieces from California and sprawl them across a 55-acre park makes it a whole lot easier to tour the state with a "let's-not-but-say-we-did" kinda additude. No muss, no fuss. And while enjoying my state of no fuss, I decided to get a corn-dog. What I found was a really cute corn-dog vendor. Her name was Melisa and after a very funny, very un-PC conversation about corn-dogs, I left, not really giving a second thought about Melisa or her batter-dipped wienies. That is, until the next day.
Hollywood. They say it's the land of dreams, where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. But the price of seeing and hanging out with someone who works at a corn-dog booth? Evidently, free. It happened at Universal Studios, and at first, I didn't think it was Melisa, because really, what are the odds? But while riding the Studio Tour and driving down the infamous Wisteria Lane, and passing the real-life, canary-yellow Solis residence, I knew it was Melisa. And she knew it was me, which made it that more awkward when I posed to have my picture taken with Billy Bush and Nancy O'Dell.
But beyond the embarrassing photo op, ditching my family and hanging out with Melisa and her friend Jessica turned out to be most thrilling. Like, driving through the time-space continuum with Doc Brown or watching the fate of the world play itself out in the live-action show Waterworld wasnt as dull as I imagined it would be, because with a young-adult cynical twist, anything and everything can be fun.
Melisa and I eventually parted ways, but not before having sushi at Wasabi on Citywalk. Which is exactly where I learned that running into Melisa wasnt fate. It was in fact fatal. The entire dinner, Melisa kept texting and IM-ing through her phone, leaving me to converse with her third-wheel friend, Jessica. Not cool. No matter how pressing the message may seem, there's a time and a place for a text. Front row at a sushi bar is not one of them.
The next day, the family and I did Disneyland. Remembering that Melisa had to work for the Mouse that day, I secretly prayed I wouldn't run into her. But with my luck, I wasnt taking any chances. So I turned to the spiritual world. Actually it was Esmeralda's Prophecies Fortune-Teller Booth in the Penny Arcade on Main Street U.S.A. but it's all the same.
"Your life has been full of trouble, for which others are largely responsible, but you are now reaching a point when you will be able by your own efforts to control your own affairs. Beware of the proposals made by a gray haired man..."
I was just getting to the "gray haired man" part of my fortune, when a girl behind me asked me if I was done. She had wanted to read her fortune, but unfortunately, the machine shut down. Esmeralda had left the booth. I offered to share my fortune but she declined, saying it was a sign from God that she should not stray. Her name was Bethany and she was from an Amish community based out in Ohio. She was on a rumspringa with her friend Lauran and together they were exploring the wildly popular, southern coast of California. Disneyland just so happened to be one of their destinations. My religious-fanatic mother adored the two holier-than-thou girls and invited them to tour the park with us, because apparently, nothing is more fun than riding Splash Mountain while learning the Amish way of life. Leave it to my mom to make the Happiest Place on Earth sound dry and clinical.
But in all fairness, it wasnt half-bad. True, Bethany and Lauran weren't as cynical as Melisa or her third-rate friend Jessica, but there was something charming about their innocence. They had never known a place such as this, to exist and to see them experience it for the first time was sorta special. The only sad thing was, their families couldnt be with them to experience their happiness, because they were probably off somewhere raising a barn or sewing a quilt. It made me realize that hanging out with my family wasnt completely bad. Plus, hanging out with your family makes food and theme park souvenirs that much less expensive.
That night, right before I got into bed, I finally finished reading my fortune, wondering if maybe having fun was something that Esmeralda had pedicted. She didnt. In fact, what she did predict made me wonder if I made a mistake.
"Beware of the proposals made by a gray haired man but take the advice and assistance that will be offered you by a middle sized and smooth faced one. You will receive an offer to go to a small town and engage in business far different from the one now engaged in. Accept it. You will meet with one who will love you. That love will be returned by you. The first name of this person begins with M and you will be introduced at a place of amusement."
Meet with the one who will love you? First name begins with M? Introduced at a place of amusement?! Just how coincidental are those fortunes they give out at Disneyland?
It's not that I dont like hanging out with my family, it's just that how can anybody face humanity after standing in line with their parents for the Mad Hatter Tea Party? Why is it that there are certain types of people who never show any emotion? No matter how great the situation, they never seem like they have fun. Eh...I guess it's because I do have blood in my veins.
After landing on native California soil, we realized we actually had some time to kill and with no real plans, we headed to Disney's California Adventures. For some, this park is a real eye-sore, with even some refering to it as Michael Eisner's wet dream. But I for one, actually do enjoy the park. Being able to take bit's and pieces from California and sprawl them across a 55-acre park makes it a whole lot easier to tour the state with a "let's-not-but-say-we-did" kinda additude. No muss, no fuss. And while enjoying my state of no fuss, I decided to get a corn-dog. What I found was a really cute corn-dog vendor. Her name was Melisa and after a very funny, very un-PC conversation about corn-dogs, I left, not really giving a second thought about Melisa or her batter-dipped wienies. That is, until the next day.
Hollywood. They say it's the land of dreams, where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul. But the price of seeing and hanging out with someone who works at a corn-dog booth? Evidently, free. It happened at Universal Studios, and at first, I didn't think it was Melisa, because really, what are the odds? But while riding the Studio Tour and driving down the infamous Wisteria Lane, and passing the real-life, canary-yellow Solis residence, I knew it was Melisa. And she knew it was me, which made it that more awkward when I posed to have my picture taken with Billy Bush and Nancy O'Dell.
But beyond the embarrassing photo op, ditching my family and hanging out with Melisa and her friend Jessica turned out to be most thrilling. Like, driving through the time-space continuum with Doc Brown or watching the fate of the world play itself out in the live-action show Waterworld wasnt as dull as I imagined it would be, because with a young-adult cynical twist, anything and everything can be fun.
Melisa and I eventually parted ways, but not before having sushi at Wasabi on Citywalk. Which is exactly where I learned that running into Melisa wasnt fate. It was in fact fatal. The entire dinner, Melisa kept texting and IM-ing through her phone, leaving me to converse with her third-wheel friend, Jessica. Not cool. No matter how pressing the message may seem, there's a time and a place for a text. Front row at a sushi bar is not one of them.
The next day, the family and I did Disneyland. Remembering that Melisa had to work for the Mouse that day, I secretly prayed I wouldn't run into her. But with my luck, I wasnt taking any chances. So I turned to the spiritual world. Actually it was Esmeralda's Prophecies Fortune-Teller Booth in the Penny Arcade on Main Street U.S.A. but it's all the same.
"Your life has been full of trouble, for which others are largely responsible, but you are now reaching a point when you will be able by your own efforts to control your own affairs. Beware of the proposals made by a gray haired man..."
I was just getting to the "gray haired man" part of my fortune, when a girl behind me asked me if I was done. She had wanted to read her fortune, but unfortunately, the machine shut down. Esmeralda had left the booth. I offered to share my fortune but she declined, saying it was a sign from God that she should not stray. Her name was Bethany and she was from an Amish community based out in Ohio. She was on a rumspringa with her friend Lauran and together they were exploring the wildly popular, southern coast of California. Disneyland just so happened to be one of their destinations. My religious-fanatic mother adored the two holier-than-thou girls and invited them to tour the park with us, because apparently, nothing is more fun than riding Splash Mountain while learning the Amish way of life. Leave it to my mom to make the Happiest Place on Earth sound dry and clinical.
But in all fairness, it wasnt half-bad. True, Bethany and Lauran weren't as cynical as Melisa or her third-rate friend Jessica, but there was something charming about their innocence. They had never known a place such as this, to exist and to see them experience it for the first time was sorta special. The only sad thing was, their families couldnt be with them to experience their happiness, because they were probably off somewhere raising a barn or sewing a quilt. It made me realize that hanging out with my family wasnt completely bad. Plus, hanging out with your family makes food and theme park souvenirs that much less expensive.
That night, right before I got into bed, I finally finished reading my fortune, wondering if maybe having fun was something that Esmeralda had pedicted. She didnt. In fact, what she did predict made me wonder if I made a mistake.
"Beware of the proposals made by a gray haired man but take the advice and assistance that will be offered you by a middle sized and smooth faced one. You will receive an offer to go to a small town and engage in business far different from the one now engaged in. Accept it. You will meet with one who will love you. That love will be returned by you. The first name of this person begins with M and you will be introduced at a place of amusement."
Meet with the one who will love you? First name begins with M? Introduced at a place of amusement?! Just how coincidental are those fortunes they give out at Disneyland?
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