A couple weeks ago, Maria invited me to a costume Halloween party. At first I was kinda excited, cuz I havent been to a costume Halloween party since the 6th grade, where I went as...I forget, but I think it was drag, since thats what all the guys did back in middle school. (cool at first, but considering the fact that like half the guys I went to middle school with are gay and do compete in drag shows, it's kinda freaky, you know?)
But as the days began to pass, I kinda had second thoughts. The reason was cuz it was a couple's costume party, where (and I quote!) "You and your boo, must dress cool!" Lame, I will admit, but still, when it's free alcohol, how can you pass up such an offer?
Except, I wish I had my own "boo" to go with. I mean, yeah, Lupita's cool and whatever and I like hanging out with her and whatnot, but, I dont know, I guess sometimes I wish there was someone else in my life that wasnt just a friend. Cuz let me tell ya...it totally sucks being alone.
So I kinda decided I wasnt gonna go. I mean I know I already RSVP-ed but I just didnt feel right going to a couple's party with a friend instead of an actual date. I knew I had no option but to tell Maria before it got too late and things got too messy. But each time I tried to talk about it, I just didnt have the heart nor the guts, and soon I found myself shopping with Maria for Halloween costumes.
She had decided we were going as Carlos and Gabrielle of Desperate Housewives, which sounded like fun, and made me think twice again about going. Unfortunately, Maria couldnt find an ensemble that was deemed "Gabrielle enough" and so, last minute she decided to go as Cleopatra. Which meant that I had to give up my orange jailer jumpsuit for something less from this century. Which seemed plausible since I did look good in the Roman guard costume. Who'da thunk I'd look good ina white skirt and brown sandals? I mean besides half my middle school friends.
As, I stood in line to pay for my costume, I kept seeing all these lovey dovey couples around me. It was as if Halloween was the new Valentine's. Something about carving a face into a pumpkin and hanging plastic skeletons all over the place just screamed 'love'. I didnt understand it, but apparently the couple macking behind Maria and me, were just turned on by the idea of ghosts and goblins. My second doubts started to spark up again, and so last minute I put the costume on hold and decided to pick it up on Saturday, the day of the party.
Saturday came and I was still undecided if I was gonna go. I was opting for staying home and watching SNL , over a bag of Pop Secret , when I realized I could be doomed for a life of loser-um. I couldnt believe that I wanted to stay home on a Saturday night rather than go to a kick-ass party, and all because I was still single. Right away, I called Maria and asked her what time the party began.
Instead of wasting prescious time, Maria decided to pick up both my costume and my ass, which I was really greatfull for until she arrived at my door. Instead of the hot Roman guard costume, she decided (last minute) that I should go as a Roman emperor with a toga and all.
ME: Maria! It's a dress!
MARIA: It's a toga.
ME: Which is latin for "male dress!"
MARIA: Oh, whatever...
ME: Maria, I cant go with a dress on!
MARIA: It's not a dress! Besides I couldnt find that Roman guard one and I thought this one matched me better.
ME: What do you mean you couldnt find it? Didnt they have it at the counter?
MARIA: Well, they put it back when you didnt come back and pick it up. And I looked all over for it, but couldnt find it, so I got the next best thing.
ME: And this was it?!
MARIA: It was either this or nothing, David!
ME: Then you choose nothing! UGH...I cant believe I'm wearing a dress for Halloween.
MARIA: It's a toga!
ME: It's a dress!
It was a long dress that went all the way to my ankles and had a purple sash/cape in the back and came with gold arm cuffs and a gold leaf wreath for my head. If I was in a relationship with someone, that costume would have guarenteed me sex for the night. Instead, it only guaranteed me a free ride to and from the party.
On the way to the party, Maria and I talked about relationships and dating and got so involved in our discussion that we took the wrong ramp off the freeway and drove down a dark, dirt, one-way road for 15 minutes. We were lost. We were dressed like the cast of ROME and we were lost. But we werent the only ones. Down the road, standing next to a stranded car, was the horny Halloween couple that stood behind Maria and me at the costume shop. They were arguing and screaming at each other, portraying the zombie and grim reaper (the costumes they were wearing) to a T.
As we drove by the screaming dead, I realized that being in a relationship wasnt so important. I mean, the whole reason I wanted to be in one was for a stupid costume party, which, now that I think about it, sounds kinda pathetic. Being in a relationship with someone, means that I would be tied down. It means my needs would come second to my special someone. Selfish as that sounds, it's what I was thinking as Maria and I searched for a road that would lead back to the freeway.
In the end I realized I dont need a special someone in my life to be my date. I already had a special someone in my life and her name was Maria. She may not be my girlfriend or my soulmate, but she is my best friend and it's kinda nice just hanging out and doing things with her. Even if it's holding her hair back while she's puking in the toliet.
But as the days began to pass, I kinda had second thoughts. The reason was cuz it was a couple's costume party, where (and I quote!) "You and your boo, must dress cool!" Lame, I will admit, but still, when it's free alcohol, how can you pass up such an offer?
Except, I wish I had my own "boo" to go with. I mean, yeah, Lupita's cool and whatever and I like hanging out with her and whatnot, but, I dont know, I guess sometimes I wish there was someone else in my life that wasnt just a friend. Cuz let me tell ya...it totally sucks being alone.
So I kinda decided I wasnt gonna go. I mean I know I already RSVP-ed but I just didnt feel right going to a couple's party with a friend instead of an actual date. I knew I had no option but to tell Maria before it got too late and things got too messy. But each time I tried to talk about it, I just didnt have the heart nor the guts, and soon I found myself shopping with Maria for Halloween costumes.
She had decided we were going as Carlos and Gabrielle of Desperate Housewives, which sounded like fun, and made me think twice again about going. Unfortunately, Maria couldnt find an ensemble that was deemed "Gabrielle enough" and so, last minute she decided to go as Cleopatra. Which meant that I had to give up my orange jailer jumpsuit for something less from this century. Which seemed plausible since I did look good in the Roman guard costume. Who'da thunk I'd look good ina white skirt and brown sandals? I mean besides half my middle school friends.
As, I stood in line to pay for my costume, I kept seeing all these lovey dovey couples around me. It was as if Halloween was the new Valentine's. Something about carving a face into a pumpkin and hanging plastic skeletons all over the place just screamed 'love'. I didnt understand it, but apparently the couple macking behind Maria and me, were just turned on by the idea of ghosts and goblins. My second doubts started to spark up again, and so last minute I put the costume on hold and decided to pick it up on Saturday, the day of the party.
Saturday came and I was still undecided if I was gonna go. I was opting for staying home and watching SNL , over a bag of Pop Secret , when I realized I could be doomed for a life of loser-um. I couldnt believe that I wanted to stay home on a Saturday night rather than go to a kick-ass party, and all because I was still single. Right away, I called Maria and asked her what time the party began.
Instead of wasting prescious time, Maria decided to pick up both my costume and my ass, which I was really greatfull for until she arrived at my door. Instead of the hot Roman guard costume, she decided (last minute) that I should go as a Roman emperor with a toga and all.
ME: Maria! It's a dress!
MARIA: It's a toga.
ME: Which is latin for "male dress!"
MARIA: Oh, whatever...
ME: Maria, I cant go with a dress on!
MARIA: It's not a dress! Besides I couldnt find that Roman guard one and I thought this one matched me better.
ME: What do you mean you couldnt find it? Didnt they have it at the counter?
MARIA: Well, they put it back when you didnt come back and pick it up. And I looked all over for it, but couldnt find it, so I got the next best thing.
ME: And this was it?!
MARIA: It was either this or nothing, David!
ME: Then you choose nothing! UGH...I cant believe I'm wearing a dress for Halloween.
MARIA: It's a toga!
ME: It's a dress!
It was a long dress that went all the way to my ankles and had a purple sash/cape in the back and came with gold arm cuffs and a gold leaf wreath for my head. If I was in a relationship with someone, that costume would have guarenteed me sex for the night. Instead, it only guaranteed me a free ride to and from the party.
On the way to the party, Maria and I talked about relationships and dating and got so involved in our discussion that we took the wrong ramp off the freeway and drove down a dark, dirt, one-way road for 15 minutes. We were lost. We were dressed like the cast of ROME and we were lost. But we werent the only ones. Down the road, standing next to a stranded car, was the horny Halloween couple that stood behind Maria and me at the costume shop. They were arguing and screaming at each other, portraying the zombie and grim reaper (the costumes they were wearing) to a T.
As we drove by the screaming dead, I realized that being in a relationship wasnt so important. I mean, the whole reason I wanted to be in one was for a stupid costume party, which, now that I think about it, sounds kinda pathetic. Being in a relationship with someone, means that I would be tied down. It means my needs would come second to my special someone. Selfish as that sounds, it's what I was thinking as Maria and I searched for a road that would lead back to the freeway.
In the end I realized I dont need a special someone in my life to be my date. I already had a special someone in my life and her name was Maria. She may not be my girlfriend or my soulmate, but she is my best friend and it's kinda nice just hanging out and doing things with her. Even if it's holding her hair back while she's puking in the toliet.
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