Yesterday, my friend Veronica and I decided to do lunch at McDonald's befofre math class. I swear, that Dollar Menu is God's gift to college students everywhere. If only they installed a Bowflex at every booth...
Anyways, so we order our food, sit down, chat and chew the cud. During the course
of our fast food fiesta, Veronica looks into her bag and is surprised to find a Happy Meal toy. She opens it up and its this cute little gold fish with a cute little helmet on, that pops out of a small space ship. Instantly, Veronica fell in love with the cute little gold fish and totally went goo-goo ga-ga over it!
VERONICA: Oh, just look at it! It's so adorably cute!
Anyways, so we order our food, sit down, chat and chew the cud. During the course
of our fast food fiesta, Veronica looks into her bag and is surprised to find a Happy Meal toy. She opens it up and its this cute little gold fish with a cute little helmet on, that pops out of a small space ship. Instantly, Veronica fell in love with the cute little gold fish and totally went goo-goo ga-ga over it!VERONICA: Oh, just look at it! It's so adorably cute!
ME: Yeah, it is cute.
VERONICA: Awww, and look at its little smile and little chubby cheeks!
ME: Yeah...
ME: Yeah...
VERONICA: It's just so small and tiny and it's so cute to hold! It needs my love!
ME: Ok, Mother Love, calm yourself! There are people around us and they are looking at us for all the wrong reasons!
But Veronica went right on smothering the poor toy and even held it up to her cheek in a loving, yet terribly disturbing, way.
After we finished our food, Veronica and I stood up to throw our food trays out. Veronica did hers first and then went over to stand by the door. I noticed she was toy-less and holding only a medium diet coke.
ME: V! Where's your toy?
VERONICA: Oh, I threw it away.
ME: What?! Why?
VERONICA: David I wasnt planning on keeping it.
ME: Yeah, but you were so...
VERONICA: Besides, it would have just stayed in my car forever and gotten in the way. I dont need more junk in my car.
ME: Yeah, but, I thought you liked it!
VERONICA: Well, yeah, but what do I need a little Happy Meal toy for?
ME: Veronica! You could have given that toy to some poor homeless kid on the street who cant afford toys!
VERONICA: Yeah! Cuz all homeless kids want toys and not food!
And thats when I did it. I put my tray on top of the trash, got on my knees and dug through the trash. As I sit here and think about it, I dont know why I did it. I guess cuz, as a kid, I used to collect and save my toys from McDonalds or Burger King. I swear, every toy they gave out from 1987 to 1995, I own. They serve no purpose, other than being my chachkas (aka dust collectors) but I still treasure them because they are a part of my childhood. And I remember as a kid, if I got the same toy again, I would either a) exchange it at the counter or b) give it to some kid whose parents didnt believe in the wholesome goodness of cheese burgers and chicken nuggets.
Veronica was horrified as I dug my way through the soggy french fries and jalepenos (Oy, I swear, only in Arizona will you see the people putting jalepenos on everything!), but just guess how I felt! I mean, how spoiled are you to throw away a perfectly good toy? Didn't she ever see the movie Toy Story? Sheesh...
VERONICA: David! Get up! People are looking!
ME: Well hold on! I almost...
VERONICA: I will buy you a new toy! Just please get up!
ME: No! I want this one!
VERONICA: People are looking!
ME: And?
VERONICA: It's for all the wrong reasons!
ME: Let them look! I cant believe you threw away your toy!
Eventually I rescued the toy from it's plastic bag prison and soon we were on our way to school. Veronica blabbed about how embarassing it was for me to rescue a toy from the trash
VERONICA: Even the manager was laughing his ass off!
ME: So?! When your that old and still have acne, who are you to judge?
VERONICA: I'm just saying, you shouldnt be digging through trash.
ME: V, it wasnt that big a deal. I betcha there is a kid out there looking for this toy and I am going to make his day when I go and give it to him.
VERONICA: Are you gonna tell him you dug it out of the trash?
ME: Well, no, but I'm gonna wash it first.
VERONICA: You are such a cheap ass.
And then I wondered of how much of a cheap ass I really am. I dont think I'm a cheap ass, but then there are some things I do, that can be considered cheap ass, but I like to think of it as a smarter way to save time and money. It's the only way of life I know how to live, you know?
Ever since I was a kid, I've known how to save a buck or two. If there was a sale and only one jacket left, I'd hide the jacket behind the linen section and bring it out the day of. It's how I'm able to own a ton of clothes and still have a ton left over. I mean, my first words were, "Can I take it back if I already wore it?" And I can list you a number of friends who have thanked me for teaching them the proper way to hide the tags in their clothing, that way they can return it the next day for a whole new outfit. And thats not being frugal. It's being smart...right?
But Veronica went right on smothering the poor toy and even held it up to her cheek in a loving, yet terribly disturbing, way.
After we finished our food, Veronica and I stood up to throw our food trays out. Veronica did hers first and then went over to stand by the door. I noticed she was toy-less and holding only a medium diet coke.
ME: V! Where's your toy?
VERONICA: Oh, I threw it away.
ME: What?! Why?
VERONICA: David I wasnt planning on keeping it.
ME: Yeah, but you were so...
VERONICA: Besides, it would have just stayed in my car forever and gotten in the way. I dont need more junk in my car.
ME: Yeah, but, I thought you liked it!
VERONICA: Well, yeah, but what do I need a little Happy Meal toy for?
ME: Veronica! You could have given that toy to some poor homeless kid on the street who cant afford toys!
VERONICA: Yeah! Cuz all homeless kids want toys and not food!
And thats when I did it. I put my tray on top of the trash, got on my knees and dug through the trash. As I sit here and think about it, I dont know why I did it. I guess cuz, as a kid, I used to collect and save my toys from McDonalds or Burger King. I swear, every toy they gave out from 1987 to 1995, I own. They serve no purpose, other than being my chachkas (aka dust collectors) but I still treasure them because they are a part of my childhood. And I remember as a kid, if I got the same toy again, I would either a) exchange it at the counter or b) give it to some kid whose parents didnt believe in the wholesome goodness of cheese burgers and chicken nuggets.
Veronica was horrified as I dug my way through the soggy french fries and jalepenos (Oy, I swear, only in Arizona will you see the people putting jalepenos on everything!), but just guess how I felt! I mean, how spoiled are you to throw away a perfectly good toy? Didn't she ever see the movie Toy Story? Sheesh...
VERONICA: David! Get up! People are looking!
ME: Well hold on! I almost...
VERONICA: I will buy you a new toy! Just please get up!
ME: No! I want this one!
VERONICA: People are looking!
ME: And?
VERONICA: It's for all the wrong reasons!
ME: Let them look! I cant believe you threw away your toy!
Eventually I rescued the toy from it's plastic bag prison and soon we were on our way to school. Veronica blabbed about how embarassing it was for me to rescue a toy from the trash
VERONICA: Even the manager was laughing his ass off!
ME: So?! When your that old and still have acne, who are you to judge?
VERONICA: I'm just saying, you shouldnt be digging through trash.
ME: V, it wasnt that big a deal. I betcha there is a kid out there looking for this toy and I am going to make his day when I go and give it to him.
VERONICA: Are you gonna tell him you dug it out of the trash?
ME: Well, no, but I'm gonna wash it first.
VERONICA: You are such a cheap ass.
And then I wondered of how much of a cheap ass I really am. I dont think I'm a cheap ass, but then there are some things I do, that can be considered cheap ass, but I like to think of it as a smarter way to save time and money. It's the only way of life I know how to live, you know?
Ever since I was a kid, I've known how to save a buck or two. If there was a sale and only one jacket left, I'd hide the jacket behind the linen section and bring it out the day of. It's how I'm able to own a ton of clothes and still have a ton left over. I mean, my first words were, "Can I take it back if I already wore it?" And I can list you a number of friends who have thanked me for teaching them the proper way to hide the tags in their clothing, that way they can return it the next day for a whole new outfit. And thats not being frugal. It's being smart...right?
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