Friday, January 20, 2006

prairie-dogging 101

Are we still living in a world of political correctness, or is it just a thing of the past? I used to think people had common courtesy. I used to think that some topics, were just not allowed to be discussed at length, during conversation. And I wonder, the people who do talk about these certain off-color topics, are they brave or are they just plain stupid? Do they have more confidence than me, or is it all just an act?

The reason I'm asking this is because yesterday, in one of my classes, I couldnt stop listening and laughing at the comments a fellow student was making. We were all supposed to interview a fellow student in the class, and write a feature story on one another. And of course, I got stuck with Shecky the Comedian. And I could not stop laughing as this girl, who was interviewing me, as she kept talking about her bowel movements.

SHECKY: Oh...shit!
ME: What?
SHECKY: Oh damn, oh damn, oh damn!
ME: What? Are you ok?
SHECKY: Yeah...it's just...I gotta go!
ME: Oh, you're leaving?
SHECKY: No! I gotta go! As in I gotta go drop a few kids off at the pool!
ME: What? Isnt it too cold to be swimming?
SHECKY: No, I mean, I gotta go take a dump!

Now, honestly, this was my first time I've ever heard a girl say the word "dump." I guess I always thought that it was a word reserved only for bonehead guys. I dont know...maybe I'm just old-fashioned.

But this gal, who was full of class, sass, and apparently, gas, just kept right on talkin'.

ME: Ok...so anyways, I guess...
SHECKY: Oh, man! I cant hold it! I need to bombard the porcelain throne with a drop and plop.
ME: Ok, dude, that's...that's just...we dont know each other that well for you to be talking about your bowel movements.
SHECKY: Uh-oh. I'm prairie-dogging it now.
ME: You're what?
SHECKY: Prairie-dogging it.
ME: I dont even know what that...
SHECKY: You know how when a prairie dog sticks it's head out the hole? Like this.

And then, at that very moment, she pressed her lips together and pushed her tongue out. It was a picture I did not wish to see.

ME: I did not ask...
SHECKY: Ugh, and the bathrooms here suck. All the girls just stand around waiting for you to just blow one out.
ME: Wow...I...
SHECKY: Oh chicken tandoori, why must you aggrivate me?!

And at that very moment...Shecky farted. Well, actually, she sharted. You know...a fart that was followed by a little more. Yeah. It was like a herd of elephants, trumpeting their trunks in the middle of the jungle. The room fell silent as everyone turned in our direction. My jaw dropped and my eyes got all big. I was so embarrassed, and I wasnt even the one who created skid-marks in their unmentionables. Red-faced Shecky ran out the room, leaving behind an ungodly stench of roadkill carcass. Everyone burst out laughing, but me. I couldnt help but feel sorry for Shecky. Never in my life, have I heard so much fart humor used in an opening conversation. And I wondered if it was because she laughed in the face of PC, that Shecky sharted in her pants. Or was it because she lived life with a brain fart (no pun intended) and was just clueless about the whole common courtesy thing? Either way, the situation, did give me some hope. All reference of "Band-aid Boy" were forever gone, and the students welcomed a new face to mock: Sharts.