They say in high school, the easiest way to infiltrate a clique, is to talk about anything from the three universal topics: TV, music, and clothes. Of course, it also helps to unite against a common enemy...a good choice would be the sexually challenged P.E. teacher. The clique I had tried to infiltrate? Yearbook. I was a senior, with no experience, and to the class I was nothing more but a mere mortal stranger, trying to learn all the secrets of putting together a well-put, end of the year, memory book. And though it may sound like war, it's worse. War is just hell. This was high school.
And like every high school, we had that one girl that all the kids would make fun of. You know the kind...bad at sports, a little overweight, friends with the lunch ladies...and Zahqwandra Thomas was just that person. She wore bifocals, her teeth were a little crooked, and she smelled like onion and feet. And though she was loud and obnoxious, I never said anything mean at all to her. Until one day, when she tried to get a petition going to have me kicked off the yearbook staff as Copy Editor. Apparently, she did not appreciate the helpful criticism I offered. But really, how can you include "When da sun iz out, da best thing to do is pop yo collar and chill wid yo homies by da poo," in a yearbook without making it sound ghetto?
From then on, I tortured Zahqwandra mercilessly behind her back, as any and all students would have done. Of course, my torture tactics were the best. I'd spray her rotting and decaying backpack with my Axe Essence deodorant spray and the class would go wild. I mean, I killed. I mean, I totally killed. And then, a year later, I found out just how much of a total bitch I was.
The Arizona Daily Star had its annual "Five Star Senior Achievers Across Tucson" article and Zahqwandra was one of the chosen few. Why? During her sophomore year in high school, Zahqwandra's mom had decided to live in Nigeria with her new husband, and not wanting to live a whole ocean away, Zahqwandra decided to stay. At first, she stayed with her sister, but after a month of living on the couch, Zahqwandra knew she needed to take matter in her own hands. For the next three years of her high school career, Zahqwandra ate, studied, slept, and lived out of her car, working two full-time jobs, while maintaining a 3.5 GPA. As soon as the article came out, everyone showed it to me. I felt so horrible, but then a little ok, when I realized I never actually made fun of her in front of her face...just behind her back. Which was worse, but thankfully she never heard any of it...or did she?
Earlier this morning, I took my younger brother Collin to his job interview at Target. He was psyched about the idea of working there, while I was psyched about the family discount I could, and would, use. But then, a dark cloud settled over the store, for behind the glass sliding doors was Zahqwandra. Last I heard, she had moved to Virginia Beach to be in the army, so it was a surprise to see her standing inside the store as the hiring manager.
After the group interview, and a quick "Please dont fire him, before you've hired him" prayer, Zahqwandra and I talked and caught up.
ME: So...did my brother get the job?
ZAHQWANDRA: David! I cant tell you that...that's confidential information.
ME: Yeah, I know, but...you know...
ZAHQWANDRA: I'm sorry, David, I cant tell you. If you're brother is hired we'll let him know. It wouldnt be fair to the other candidates, would it?
ME: Yeah, but the other candidates arent from Tucson High. They dont got that Badger pride, like we do.
ZAHQWANDRA: David...I cant...I really cant...I'm sorry.
ME: Ok, well...cant say I didnt try.
ZAHQWANDRA: Ok...
ME: Hey...now that you're back in town and whatever, do you wanna grab a bite to eat and hang out? Catch up on old times?
ZAHQWANDRA: Ok! Sure!
ME: Great...
ZAHQWANDRA: It's a date! Ha-ha-ha! We rhymed!
True, it was a cheap ploy into making Zahqwandra thinking we were friends, but is going on a date with someone, you picked on in high school, to help further the career of your brother all that bad? I mean, I know sometimes in life, you have to make sacrifices in order to advance in your career, but should I be the one making the sacrifices? I know I should be the one apologizing, but sacrificing...? I always felt bad that I never told Zahqwandra I'm sorry but was this really my chance in disguise?
And like every high school, we had that one girl that all the kids would make fun of. You know the kind...bad at sports, a little overweight, friends with the lunch ladies...and Zahqwandra Thomas was just that person. She wore bifocals, her teeth were a little crooked, and she smelled like onion and feet. And though she was loud and obnoxious, I never said anything mean at all to her. Until one day, when she tried to get a petition going to have me kicked off the yearbook staff as Copy Editor. Apparently, she did not appreciate the helpful criticism I offered. But really, how can you include "When da sun iz out, da best thing to do is pop yo collar and chill wid yo homies by da poo," in a yearbook without making it sound ghetto?
From then on, I tortured Zahqwandra mercilessly behind her back, as any and all students would have done. Of course, my torture tactics were the best. I'd spray her rotting and decaying backpack with my Axe Essence deodorant spray and the class would go wild. I mean, I killed. I mean, I totally killed. And then, a year later, I found out just how much of a total bitch I was.
The Arizona Daily Star had its annual "Five Star Senior Achievers Across Tucson" article and Zahqwandra was one of the chosen few. Why? During her sophomore year in high school, Zahqwandra's mom had decided to live in Nigeria with her new husband, and not wanting to live a whole ocean away, Zahqwandra decided to stay. At first, she stayed with her sister, but after a month of living on the couch, Zahqwandra knew she needed to take matter in her own hands. For the next three years of her high school career, Zahqwandra ate, studied, slept, and lived out of her car, working two full-time jobs, while maintaining a 3.5 GPA. As soon as the article came out, everyone showed it to me. I felt so horrible, but then a little ok, when I realized I never actually made fun of her in front of her face...just behind her back. Which was worse, but thankfully she never heard any of it...or did she?
Earlier this morning, I took my younger brother Collin to his job interview at Target. He was psyched about the idea of working there, while I was psyched about the family discount I could, and would, use. But then, a dark cloud settled over the store, for behind the glass sliding doors was Zahqwandra. Last I heard, she had moved to Virginia Beach to be in the army, so it was a surprise to see her standing inside the store as the hiring manager.
After the group interview, and a quick "Please dont fire him, before you've hired him" prayer, Zahqwandra and I talked and caught up.
ME: So...did my brother get the job?
ZAHQWANDRA: David! I cant tell you that...that's confidential information.
ME: Yeah, I know, but...you know...
ZAHQWANDRA: I'm sorry, David, I cant tell you. If you're brother is hired we'll let him know. It wouldnt be fair to the other candidates, would it?
ME: Yeah, but the other candidates arent from Tucson High. They dont got that Badger pride, like we do.
ZAHQWANDRA: David...I cant...I really cant...I'm sorry.
ME: Ok, well...cant say I didnt try.
ZAHQWANDRA: Ok...
ME: Hey...now that you're back in town and whatever, do you wanna grab a bite to eat and hang out? Catch up on old times?
ZAHQWANDRA: Ok! Sure!
ME: Great...
ZAHQWANDRA: It's a date! Ha-ha-ha! We rhymed!
True, it was a cheap ploy into making Zahqwandra thinking we were friends, but is going on a date with someone, you picked on in high school, to help further the career of your brother all that bad? I mean, I know sometimes in life, you have to make sacrifices in order to advance in your career, but should I be the one making the sacrifices? I know I should be the one apologizing, but sacrificing...? I always felt bad that I never told Zahqwandra I'm sorry but was this really my chance in disguise?
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