Gifted with my new pshycic ability powers, I had to find out more about my odd déjà vu experiences. So I went with my good friend Maria to see our mutual, hollistic healer friend, Rainbow. According to Rainbow, it's been reported that recreational drugs increase the chances of déjà vu. Duh. But what's also been reported is that pharmacological drugs also have the same effect. In fact, it seemed that there was a greater effect if antihistamines were taken. And considering the fact that I had taken a combination of Benadryl, Dimetapp and some herbal allergy medication earlier last week to battle my uncontrollable sneezing fits, I couldn’t rule out the possibility. But what I could rule out was I had a liar for a friend.
RAINBOW: So...somebody’s birthday coming up...
ME: Yeah, but not for like another month.
RAINBOW: Oh. No. I was talking about Maria’s birthday. It’s this Sunday, right?
MARIA: Yeah...
ME: No it's not.
MARIA: Yeah. It is.
ME: Really? Why did I think you’re birthday was in the spring?
MARIA: Uh...I don’t know.
As it turns out, Maria had been lying about her birthday all these years. She was not born in March as she had once suggested, but rather, was born in the fall. A year older and still, none the wiser, Maria didn’t recognize her birthday as a day of celebration, but rather as a day of re-evaluation of how her life was turning out so far. According to Maria, she was no closer to achieving her life goals than when she first thought about them. The social life she once had, was slowly disappearing due to the demanding work that was required of a pre-med student. But the worst part of it all, was that on her special day, Maria didnt have a special someone to wish her a happy birthday.
And while Maria was wishing for a special someone, her ex-special someone wasnt doing any better. It happened last Tuesday, after school, in the computer lab. Topher and Maria were just walking in, as Ray was just walking out. He was disheveled, a total mess with baggage under his eyes and absolutely no color coordination in his wardrobe. For a few slow-mo seconds, Maria almost felt sorry for her refugee-looking ex. But when she remembered that he had broken up with her, she felt thankful that she had worn a low-cut top, because on the off chance you should run into the person who broke your heart, you never want to be caught looking tow-up.
Still, there was something about seeing Ray in his natural school habitat that sparked old feelings in Maria. In fact, seeing Ray had ignited something in Maria so fierce, she had actually considered talking to him just so she could have someone to be with on her birthday.
It was really sad. But Maria’s birthday of re-evaluation got me thinking about my own upcoming birthday re-evaluation. It was like that time Ms. Tyler had made me consider my contribution to the world. And considering that this is my 100th post, it seemed only fitting. So I gave it some thought. Maybe I wouldnt do anything for my 21st birthday. Maybe I would just lay low. But did I really want to lay low, or was this just a bad after effect of feeling low?
Five minutes later, I saw that the day’s mail had brought me the newest issue of GQ. Reading articles of what the new 21st century man should strive to be, I came across an article entitled, "50 Things a Man Does Not Have to Do Before He Dies". I realized I had already done ten of them, which meant I still had a lot more rules to break and a lot more living to do. And if I had a lot more living to do, I couldn’t just sit around like Maria, thinking about what I hadn’t yet accomplished.
Still, if Maria was gonna be sad and cynical on her birthday, I figured my gift for her would have to help her see life the way I saw it. They say that you should live life to the fullest and so to help my friend start living life instead of loathing it, I came up with the ideal gift that would help her out.
RAINBOW: So...somebody’s birthday coming up...
ME: Yeah, but not for like another month.
RAINBOW: Oh. No. I was talking about Maria’s birthday. It’s this Sunday, right?
MARIA: Yeah...
ME: No it's not.
MARIA: Yeah. It is.
ME: Really? Why did I think you’re birthday was in the spring?
MARIA: Uh...I don’t know.
As it turns out, Maria had been lying about her birthday all these years. She was not born in March as she had once suggested, but rather, was born in the fall. A year older and still, none the wiser, Maria didn’t recognize her birthday as a day of celebration, but rather as a day of re-evaluation of how her life was turning out so far. According to Maria, she was no closer to achieving her life goals than when she first thought about them. The social life she once had, was slowly disappearing due to the demanding work that was required of a pre-med student. But the worst part of it all, was that on her special day, Maria didnt have a special someone to wish her a happy birthday.
And while Maria was wishing for a special someone, her ex-special someone wasnt doing any better. It happened last Tuesday, after school, in the computer lab. Topher and Maria were just walking in, as Ray was just walking out. He was disheveled, a total mess with baggage under his eyes and absolutely no color coordination in his wardrobe. For a few slow-mo seconds, Maria almost felt sorry for her refugee-looking ex. But when she remembered that he had broken up with her, she felt thankful that she had worn a low-cut top, because on the off chance you should run into the person who broke your heart, you never want to be caught looking tow-up.
Still, there was something about seeing Ray in his natural school habitat that sparked old feelings in Maria. In fact, seeing Ray had ignited something in Maria so fierce, she had actually considered talking to him just so she could have someone to be with on her birthday.
It was really sad. But Maria’s birthday of re-evaluation got me thinking about my own upcoming birthday re-evaluation. It was like that time Ms. Tyler had made me consider my contribution to the world. And considering that this is my 100th post, it seemed only fitting. So I gave it some thought. Maybe I wouldnt do anything for my 21st birthday. Maybe I would just lay low. But did I really want to lay low, or was this just a bad after effect of feeling low?
Five minutes later, I saw that the day’s mail had brought me the newest issue of GQ. Reading articles of what the new 21st century man should strive to be, I came across an article entitled, "50 Things a Man Does Not Have to Do Before He Dies". I realized I had already done ten of them, which meant I still had a lot more rules to break and a lot more living to do. And if I had a lot more living to do, I couldn’t just sit around like Maria, thinking about what I hadn’t yet accomplished.
Still, if Maria was gonna be sad and cynical on her birthday, I figured my gift for her would have to help her see life the way I saw it. They say that you should live life to the fullest and so to help my friend start living life instead of loathing it, I came up with the ideal gift that would help her out.
- Kermit the Frog’s book, Before You Leap: A Frog's Eye View of Life's Greatest Lessons to remind Maria she still has a lot of life to see.
- The new Beyonce CD, B'Day, to remind Maria to live life with a smile in her step and a song in her heart.
- A chocolate scented candle, to remind Maria that sometimes, all you need is a good scent to help you remember the good ol’ days.
- A gift card for Applebee’s, to remind Maria that no matter how many new things you experience, you cant beat the simple pleasures in life, like boneless buffalo wings.
- And a vibrating cucumber, because really, what’s a good gift without a little sexual humor?
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